Who is the avatar and who is the woman?

I have had some amazing feedback from my post yesterday. Thank you all so much. I am even more excited to continue with this endeavor I’ve undertaken.

One of the suggestions I received was to write about this project. I was definitely going to do that. I am not going to follow a strick formula, and I expect it to change all the time. I mean, come on, my life has never been one to be constant, right? Haha. For instance, Day 5 below, is only of me/Kris sleeping. Yes, sleeping. I worked a 12 hour shift on Thursday from 7am-7pm, and a 12 hour shift the day before from noon to midnight, and I was just extremely exhausted. I barely wanted to turn on my computer much less take a picture of Gracie. I probably could have taken a pic of the computer screen turned off…haha, but I was too tired to think. So this pic is solo of just me, Kris. There may be days when I don’t want to take a pic of Kris either. Who knows. I am making this up as I go along and having fun doing it actually. Which is what life is all about, both real and virtual!! I am probably not going to give this much commentary for each picture, as a picture is worth a 1000 unsaid words, I believe. If you have any questions, I would be happy to answer them. And who knows, I  may change down the line. I’m just taking this day by day.

Some questions I have been thinking about in relation to identity in real and virtual life:

Who is the avatar and who is the woman?

How many roles do we play?

What’s in a name?

Who do I want to be?

Who Am I now?

What about authenticity as identity?

How has Gracie’s ideal beauty affected her/my life for the good? for the bad?And Kris, How has her non-ideal image affected her life? Would I have received more opportunities if I was thinner, prettier to the eye? How would my life be different?

What is the difference between Gracie and Kris? What is the same?

That’s it for now. I know I have more, but they will come as I go along. Day by day. Thank you so much for supporting my project!!!

(Disclaimer: I am still trying to wrap my head around the first person, second person, third person narrative of this project. I consider myself to be both Gracie and Kris. Gracie is an extension of Kris and Kris is an extension of Gracie. If I am referring to a specific picture, I will either say Kris or Gracie. But I may continue to also say me. As this is all about me. Hope that makes sense. I would love suggestions on this if you have any :)))

Day5 copy



4 thoughts on “Who is the avatar and who is the woman?

  1. Gracie, this is a great project you are embarking upon. I think you will find it leads you in some interesting and unexpected directions! I like the questions you are coming up with. “What’s in a name?” What, indeed? Why did I name myself Princess Ivory? In reality I’m the last kind of girl who would be called “princess” as a nickname. I think you have just given me a good topic for a blog post of my own!

  2. Self hate and inability to accept oneself and one’s body is a sad thing. Worst still, it is usually something that’s learnt, internalised from an intolerant society which manufactures unrealistic trends, benchmarks and images, leaving shattered self- esteems (usually the intent) in it’s wake. (the worse you feel about yourself the more you’re likely to consume and the false and marketed belief that you will “get better”). I have had problems feeling good about being in my own skin for years. it’s a schizoid, alienating experience ,reinforced by social prejudice and market forces. But recently I woke up realising it’s all just a big CON and I have been allowing myself to be the victim. It was such a deep, liberating realisation – but one which slowly evolved. Now i am much happier just being myself, me, in my own skin, not living vicariously through something/one else.

    • WOW, thank you so much for your comments Jo.
      Yes I totally agree with you.
      My issues are not new to me, but have been reinforced through years of criticism.
      It only gets reinforced further, the more I see it in society. That’s what I hope to explore further.
      Thank you so much for getting me so much more to think about 🙂

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