So I few days ago, I met a new friend who lives in Germany. We started talking about my project and he asked me some serious, thought provoking questions. One of which was, “Who are you?” Now, of course, this is what my project is based on, a self exploration of sorts. I had asked this question a year ago, when I first started the project and I answered it by writing a poem… I am beautiful, I am ugly, etc. (check out my artist statement to see it again)
Today, I revisited the question again… Here is what I came up with…
Who Am I?
I am a woman
I am 37
I am an Emergency Room secretary/monitor tech
I am single
I am an artist
I am someone who is trying
someone who is searching
I am afraid
I am lonely
I have an eating disorder
I am intelligent
I am witty
I am sexy
I am sassy
I believe in equality
I believe in freedom
I hate politics
I like dogs (some)
I am both social and private
I am intuitive
I am a team player
I am friendly
I am responsible
I am wondering
I am asking
I am needing
I am looking
I am smiling.
Who are you?
I am still not sure who I am. These are words, do these define me? I don’t know. They may change tomorrow, next week. I will learn, I will evolve, I will progress, grow, I will find what I want and not look for it still. I will change.
[2010/10/09 12:00] Gracie Kendal: THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR COMING…. WELCOME TO THE ENCORE PERFORMANCE OF VB15 GRACIE/KRIS.
THE AVATARS IN THE PERFORMANCE ARE MEANT TO BE SILENT AND CONTEMPLATED. PLEASE CONSIDER WHY WE ARE HERE. TALK ABOUT IT IN CHAT. I WANT TO HEAR YOUR IDEAS ON IDENTITY, BODY IMAGE, REALITY VS VIRTUALITY ETC. THIS IS AN ONGOING PROJECT ON “MY LIFE AS AN AVATAR” YOU CAN READ MORE ABOUT IT HERE WWW.GRACIEKENDAL.WORDPRESS.COM
MYSELF AND THE ACTORS PILOTING MY AVATARS WILL BE AROUND AFTER THE PERFORMANCE FOR ANY QUESTIONS AND DISCUSSION YOU MAY HAVE. ENJOY!!!!!!
[2010/10/09 12:08] lizsolo Mathilde: So…. Just who IS Gracie Kendal?
[2010/10/09 12:09] RAG Randt: take your pick lol
[2010/10/09 12:09] lizsolo Mathilde: lol
[2010/10/09 12:09] Tesserae Swansong: but your pick would be ‘what’ not ‘who’
[2010/10/09 12:09] Selonna Torok: She’s who she wants to be… that in assuming the identity she’s chosen for herself through Second Life, she’s become whatever her ‘ideal’ is.
[2010/10/09 12:10] lizsolo Mathilde: who she wants to be
[2010/10/09 12:10] lizsolo Mathilde: I like that
[2010/10/09 12:10] lizsolo Mathilde: we hear you
[2010/10/09 12:10] Fury Warwillow: Are SL avatars always the ideal?
[2010/10/09 12:10] Selonna Torok: I think it’s a kind of liberating thing… to be who you want to be. But what happens when who you want to be isn’t “good enough” for others?
[2010/10/09 12:11] lizsolo Mathilde: how can you tell Selonna
[2010/10/09 12:12] gazelle Falconer: is gender so important a commodity that we cannot merely be persons? That would truly be liberating
[2010/10/09 12:12] Pythia Oh: You could use a genderless av. You could be a rock. or a tree.
[2010/10/09 12:12] lizsolo Mathilde: it is strange how we all choose human avatars most of the time, when we can be anything at all
[2010/10/09 12:13] Hardwarehacker Hoch: I agree lizsolo
[2010/10/09 12:13] gazelle Falconer: I don’t see any rocks or trees in the ‘diorama?’
[2010/10/09 12:13] Kara Trapdoor: I enjoy being many diff things in SL and taking pics and video of it too… Na’vi, heavy girl, a guy, hedgehog, different races, body and hair changes, a child, and the list goes on and on.. but in the end I generally make my girl look like RL .. only younger : )
[2010/10/09 12:13] Ze Moo: well I choose a human fleshatar not to attract to much attention on this planet.. ,P
[2010/10/09 12:13] Tozh Taurog: It isn’t exactly news that given a chance most women want to be “pretty”. So there are four shapes here. And a lot more in world…. And….?
[2010/10/09 12:13] Selonna Torok: Well, for example, Gracie links to this article: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1739601,00.html In which the author originally created an avatar, but because his sister deemed it ugly… he felt ugly. And later, when he created an avatar that was more ‘pleasing’, he felt more confident. Why couldn’t he be satisfied with how *he* wanted to be versus the perception that others cast upon him?
[2010/10/09 12:14] gazelle Falconer: then that brings in the frailty of persons
[2010/10/09 12:15] Selonna Torok: Tozh, to me, this exhibit shows us the “stages” we go through in SL… We start with nothing but our skins (and some faboosh shoes, by the way). And then, we try to personify our real selves. Some get swept away in the sex industry, etc… And then, in the end, we all come out as the ‘lovely’ byproducts of our experiences.
[2010/10/09 12:15] Tesserae Swansong: no matter how you view the gradations that Gracie offers here, they are/she is all young, and that is also part of the equation.
[2010/10/09 12:16] lizsolo Mathilde: ah I see what you mean, Selonna.. amazing how other’s perceptions of us can make us feel differently about ourselves – we are all a little insecure in our identities perhaps?
[2010/10/09 12:16] FreeWee Ling: The point is not what Gracie has chosen, I think, but that she has a choice, as do we all.
[2010/10/09 12:16] gazelle Falconer: what if he said “who cares. I like it”
[2010/10/09 12:16] Tesserae Swansong: well, and has she chosen?
[2010/10/09 12:16] lizsolo Mathilde: yes gazelle
[2010/10/09 12:16] Tozh Taurog: Selonna, I’m sorry, but that is such a generalization that I don’t know where to start. And it’s not even accurate. We start as ‘generic’ and become more personalized, not the other way around.
[2010/10/09 12:17] FreeWee Ling: She’s chosen to reflect her rl here and vice versa, I think.
[2010/10/09 12:17] gazelle Falconer: lol
[2010/10/09 12:17] Truelie Telling: you say ‘Gracie’ has chosen… are Gracie and Kris different? is Gracie really able to make a choice?
[2010/10/09 12:17] Selonna Torok: I was speaking in a general way because it’s so vague, one has to be general. 🙂
[2010/10/09 12:17] Selonna Torok: That’s how I perceive it… you’re welcome to perceive it in any way you wish. Just as she’s welcome to perceive her avatar any way she wants.
[2010/10/09 12:18] lizsolo Mathilde: I think you made a very valid point selonna
[2010/10/09 12:18] Tesserae Swansong: but why do we care? why does she care… about the perception of image, I mean? is it to be loved? to hold power? or ?
[2010/10/09 12:18] lizsolo Mathilde: I see avatars as extensions of self..like puppets, to use a metaphor
[2010/10/09 12:19] gazelle Falconer: I see mine as a tool to explore and discover
[2010/10/09 12:19] Ataraxia Azemus: Our appearance always says something about us, wherever we are
[2010/10/09 12:19] lizsolo Mathilde: we insecure humans crave approval, even for our avatars
[2010/10/09 12:19] FreeWee Ling: Our representations here are aspects of our real selves. So if we choose to represent ourselves in a different species or genre, what do we learn from those choices?
[2010/10/09 12:20] Truelie Telling: perhaps that we have learned to distrust humanity
[2010/10/09 12:20] lizsolo Mathilde: or that we can become whatever we imagine
[2010/10/09 12:20] gazelle Falconer: but we are not children
[2010/10/09 12:20] Tesserae Swansong: how do choice and change/changeability relate, then? If we can change again and again, are we making choices or just trying on personae?
[2010/10/09 12:20] lizsolo Mathilde: which I think is where this is all going eventually
[2010/10/09 12:21] FreeWee Ling: I think this gives us an opportunity to experiment. To try on different personas to see how they fit.
[2010/10/09 12:21] lizsolo Mathilde: or expressing different aspects of our personas
[2010/10/09 12:21] Tesserae Swansong: what strikes me is how easy it is to change in a virtual realm, but how difficult to do that in first life.
[2010/10/09 12:21] Truelie Telling: living out what we want and cannot live
[2010/10/09 12:21] Selonna Torok: I like that, Liz
[2010/10/09 12:21] lizsolo Mathilde: or making what we want real in some way
[2010/10/09 12:21] lizsolo Mathilde: 🙂
[2010/10/09 12:22] Tesserae Swansong: true
[2010/10/09 12:22] gazelle Falconer: hmmmmm. that would mean that a persona equals an Avi FreeWee
[2010/10/09 12:22] Selonna Torok: In my ‘real life’, I’m a hard working female in the Army… I don’t always get to ‘be pretty’. But here, my avatar is almost always exclusively pretty, whether the pretty that I like or the pretty that is generally liked… Maybe that says something.
[2010/10/09 12:22] gazelle Falconer: *an sorry not and
[2010/10/09 12:22] Truelie Telling: I can be the ME I feel like… the ME I identify as… which is NOT what I appear to be in rl
[2010/10/09 12:23] Tesserae Swansong: well, in fact we don’t have the logistical options to be (to look like) what we are in first life. sometimes I wish that we did.
[2010/10/09 12:24] gazelle Falconer: which brings it down to image
[2010/10/09 12:24] Ze Moo: Avatars are in cyberspace, what vehicles & fashion & fleshatars are in meatspace
[2010/10/09 12:24] Selonna Torok: I think I’m also unjustifiably judgmental of how others look in SL even more than I am of how people look in RL… It’s as if I expect *more* from avatars in SL because it’s so easy to change.
[2010/10/09 12:24] Truelie Telling: no… identity is far more than image
[2010/10/09 12:24] lizsolo Mathilde: yes
[2010/10/09 12:24] Ataraxia Azemus: I wonder if most people would choose to, Tess. Or if ideals would still win out.
[2010/10/09 12:24] lizsolo Mathilde: there really is that sense of “embodiment” when you start working with an avatar
[2010/10/09 12:25] lizsolo Mathilde: virtual embodiment, we inhabit these forms with our consciousness
[2010/10/09 12:26] Ze Moo: and fashion is very virtual in RL: spending money on avatar fashion just as ‘ridiculous’ or ‘clever’ as spending money on fleshatar fashion, it’s all communication, only existing in the mind
[2010/10/09 12:26] lizsolo Mathilde: does anyone feel physically connected to their avatar?
[2010/10/09 12:27] Tozh Taurog: What do you mean by ‘physically’?
[2010/10/09 12:27] gazelle Falconer: is our interaction with others hampered by or helped by our avi’s appearance?
[2010/10/09 12:27] pixel Reanimator: I sure do
[2010/10/09 12:27] lizsolo Mathilde: hmm, like say, if your avatar dances you feel it in some way, or if your avatar flies
[2010/10/09 12:27] Tozh Taurog: Absolutely. 😀
[2010/10/09 12:28] lizsolo Mathilde: yes ze, all concept
[2010/10/09 12:28] Truelie Telling: interaction with others is definitely helped by our avvies appearance…
[2010/10/09 12:28] Tesserae Swansong: it is interesting that Kris/Gracie dresses these racks of four in the same clothes. I do not see women of size dressing in the same ways, the same clothing choices that thin women do.
[2010/10/09 12:28] Ataraxia Azemus: Or hampered. A weird avie sets off griefer bells.
[2010/10/09 12:28] Truelie Telling: yep
[2010/10/09 12:29] Fury Warwillow: lizsolo, my feet get tired after standing for awhile in SL, and I find myself looking for somewhere to sit
[2010/10/09 12:29] lizsolo Mathilde: haha, that’s funny.. I would like to explore that physical connection – I suspect it is something that will become a part of the interface someday
[2010/10/09 12:30] FreeWee Ling: I hate the thumping sound when I bump my head on something.
[2010/10/09 12:30] lizsolo Mathilde: it is funny how we often look to sit down at meetings or shows as well
[2010/10/09 12:30] FreeWee Ling: Makes me wince
[2010/10/09 12:30] gazelle Falconer: lol
[2010/10/09 12:31] lizsolo Mathilde: lol
[2010/10/09 12:31] Ze Moo sure feels physically connected to some of his avatars, body reacts to avatar in surprising ways sometimes…
[2010/10/09 12:31] gazelle Falconer: I will say this that avis do teach us things
[2010/10/09 12:31] gazelle Falconer: i.e.
[2010/10/09 12:31] Ze Moo: at meetings when our avatars don’t sit down, don’t we get physically tired sooner?
[2010/10/09 12:32] Ze Moo: like now…hehe
[2010/10/09 12:32] FreeWee Ling: Some of our Caerleon team started working in an OpenSim grid. It was funny how the first week or two no one could get any work done because they had to get their bodies in order first.
[2010/10/09 12:32] gazelle Falconer: this was an education
[2010/10/09 12:34] Truelie Telling: is it the same Gracie if another person inhabits it?
[2010/10/09 12:34] Tesserae Swansong: that’s part of the bugaboo with the whole topic of identity, imo. I think we ‘know’ who Gracie is and who is not Gracie…
[2010/10/09 12:35] Tesserae Swansong: no matter the shape
[2010/10/09 12:35] Truelie Telling: but my avatar has different taste than my human… would she still, if someone else was ‘being’ her?
[2010/10/09 12:35] Tesserae Swansong: well, what I mean is that I am not so sure that identity is ambiguous.
[2010/10/09 12:35] FreeWee Ling: Well, for example. Say I have an alt here. One of you is an alt. Would it bother you to know me in one context and my alt in another and not know that we are the same in rl?
[2010/10/09 12:36] Truelie Telling: depends on what we were doing together, Free…
[2010/10/09 12:36] FreeWee Ling: Identity goes two ways. Who I am to me may not be ambiguous to me, but who I am to you is anyone’s guess.
[2010/10/09 12:37] lizsolo Mathilde: is an interesting question – are your two avvies different identities
[2010/10/09 12:37] Tesserae Swansong: but to me you are consistent, just as you are to yourself
[2010/10/09 12:37] FreeWee Ling: How do you know?
[2010/10/09 12:37] FreeWee Ling: You only know what I reveal to you.
[2010/10/09 12:37] Tesserae Swansong: consistency does not imply inflexibility, I think.
[2010/10/09 12:38] Tesserae Swansong: really? smiles
[2010/10/09 12:38] FreeWee Ling: Consistency does not define unambiguity.
[2010/10/09 12:38] Tesserae Swansong: you reveal with text/words, with choices, with actions, with silences even
[2010/10/09 12:38] lizsolo Mathilde: this thought occurs to me – It’s what is on the inside that counts
[2010/10/09 12:38] Tesserae Swansong: just as the 16 are doing now
[2010/10/09 12:39] Tesserae Swansong: I agree lizsolo, yes
[2010/10/09 12:39] FreeWee Ling: When I inhabit an alt, I feel different. The way I interact with others changes. I am not always the same “me”
[2010/10/09 12:39] lizsolo Mathilde: and no matter what our outer “identity”, it’s what is inside that shines
[2010/10/09 12:39] Ze Moo: great debate ã‹¡
[2010/10/09 12:39] lizsolo Mathilde: interesting frewee, I think I feel the same way in my alts
[2010/10/09 12:40] Ze Moo: and important debate imho
[2010/10/09 12:40] lizsolo Mathilde: I mean different
[2010/10/09 12:40] Ze Moo: for the future of mankind…
[2010/10/09 12:40] Ze Moo: .)
[2010/10/09 12:40] Tesserae Swansong: but how do we get ourselves to feel good about who/what is on the inside? that’s the rub
[2010/10/09 12:41] lizsolo Mathilde: yes Tesserae, that is the rub!
[2010/10/09 12:41] lizsolo Mathilde: I think this is something we all have to work through
[2010/10/09 12:41] Fury Warwillow: we explore the aspects of ourselves that are disturbing to us, and try to come to terms with them
[2010/10/09 12:42] Tesserae Swansong: ok, so…. (ducking this time 🙂 does dolling up in these pretty or handsome avatar forms help us or hurt us?
[2010/10/09 12:42] FreeWee Ling: It can do both.
[2010/10/09 12:42] Truelie Telling: but we bring our lifetime of lessons… each set unique… and here we try to enact what we have learned in rl… that external beauty has power
[2010/10/09 12:42] FreeWee Ling: Depends on the individual. What are you trying to explore?
[2010/10/09 12:43] lizsolo Mathilde: yes, and the avatar evolves over time, changes all the time
[2010/10/09 12:43] Truelie Telling: particularly the power to attract/create love
[2010/10/09 12:43] FreeWee Ling: Some people come to explore their darker sides.
[2010/10/09 12:43] Fury Warwillow: Yes, as I do Free
[2010/10/09 12:43] Truelie Telling: there is power there too
[2010/10/09 12:44] Truelie Telling: perhaps we are looking to fill in what we feel is missing, in part
[2010/10/09 12:44] Truelie Telling: power… control… love…
[2010/10/09 12:45] FreeWee Ling: Or to discover what we didn’t ever imagine about ourselves.
[2010/10/09 12:45] Tesserae Swansong: I think so, Truelie. in first life, I go shopping 🙂
[2010/10/09 12:45] Tozh Taurog: Second life shopping is cheaper. 😀
[2010/10/09 12:45] Tesserae Swansong: absolutely!
[2010/10/09 12:45] Truelie Telling: yep
[2010/10/09 12:45] FreeWee Ling: I go shopping here. Hardly ever leave the house in rl. heehee.
[2010/10/09 12:45] Truelie Telling: I hit the thrift stores in rl… and the hunts in sl
[2010/10/09 12:45] Truelie Telling: low damage, high reward
[2010/10/09 12:46] Tesserae Swansong: yep
[2010/10/09 12:46] Fury Warwillow: I’m a bit of an Xstreet addict
[2010/10/09 12:46] FreeWee Ling: My inventory is over 62K
[2010/10/09 12:46] gazelle Falconer: lol but they don’t have cereal and their milk isn’t very fresh
[2010/10/09 12:46] Tesserae Swansong: but then, we look good in pretty much everything here.. right?
[2010/10/09 12:46] Truelie Telling: I can get way better stuff here!
[2010/10/09 12:46] lizsolo Mathilde: my avatar dresses much better than I do
[2010/10/09 12:47] Truelie Telling: ah… the rewards of new hair…
[2010/10/09 12:47] FreeWee Ling: If we choose to. Most people choose to look good Some chose to look ugly or weird.
[2010/10/09 12:47] gazelle Falconer: which brings up another point to me
[2010/10/09 12:47] Truelie Telling: making a statement
[2010/10/09 12:47] gazelle Falconer: what else allows us the flexibility of how we look and what we wear
[2010/10/09 12:47] Tesserae Swansong: being heard, being visible, in other words?
[2010/10/09 12:47] lizsolo Mathilde: yes, I love being able to respond immediately with my avatars appearance
[2010/10/09 12:48] FreeWee Ling: Some people bring their imperfections in here with them. Disabilities or deformities.
[2010/10/09 12:48] lizsolo Mathilde: to real things that are happening
[2010/10/09 12:48] FreeWee Ling: I wear glasses here sometimes, as I do in rl.
[2010/10/09 12:48] lizsolo Mathilde: RL
[2010/10/09 12:48] Truelie Telling: to challenge ‘beauty’ to include them
[2010/10/09 12:49] Tesserae Swansong: it strikes me that in first life, the older one gets, the less visible s/he is.. also true for what Gracie calls ‘imperfections’.. the more, the less ‘visible’ in society’s eye
[2010/10/09 12:49] Tozh Taurog: Well, I actually have a shape that does not look great in everything. It’s a comforting experience in a way, something to relate to RL.
[2010/10/09 12:49] FreeWee Ling: I’ve seen disabled people here who bring their wheelchairs with them.
[2010/10/09 12:49] Fury Warwillow: One thing sl appearances teach us is that they truly, in the end, don’t matter
[2010/10/09 12:50] gazelle Falconer: ty
[2010/10/09 12:50] Tesserae Swansong: you know, Fury, I think you are on to something.
[2010/10/09 12:50] Fury Warwillow: I ultimately don’t care how people ‘look’, I am profoundly interested in who they are
[2010/10/09 12:50] FreeWee Ling: I disagree. The way you present yourself has a large impact on how you will be perceived.
[2010/10/09 12:50] Fury Warwillow: Initially yes
[2010/10/09 12:50] Truelie Telling: hmmm… Fury, I guess I still haven’t gotten that message… appearances are just as important here, unless you totally take yourself out of the norm
[2010/10/09 12:50] Fury Warwillow: some people are hopeless at appearance, in rl or sl
[2010/10/09 12:50] gazelle Falconer: I have yet to meet some here who is older than I am
[2010/10/09 12:51] Truelie Telling: in rl? I’m 66, how old are you?
[2010/10/09 12:51] FreeWee Ling: How do you know?
[2010/10/09 12:51] Truelie Telling: some of us like to brag
[2010/10/09 12:51] FreeWee Ling: heehee
[2010/10/09 12:51] Jorga Joubert: Then why do the vast majority present as some version of Ken and Barbie (sorry late comer to the conversation… may have been covered?)
[2010/10/09 12:51] gazelle Falconer: and I can relate to the invisibility issue
[2010/10/09 12:51] lizsolo Mathilde: in general I find people receptive and open here, no matter what form I take
[2010/10/09 12:51] Truelie Telling: and I know quite a few peeps older than me
[2010/10/09 12:51] FreeWee Ling: You don’t know how old anyone is unless they tell you.
[2010/10/09 12:51] gazelle Falconer: I am 64
[2010/10/09 12:52] Truelie Telling: the nice thing is, my friends are all ages here
[2010/10/09 12:52] gazelle Falconer: So now I have met someone odder than me in sl
[2010/10/09 12:52] FreeWee Ling: I have a couple of friends here who are in their 60s. It’s not unusual.
[2010/10/09 12:52] Fury Warwillow: yes, all ages and backgrounds
[2010/10/09 12:52] lizsolo Mathilde: I think that is part of the nature =of SL Jorge, sort of built on a shopping mall culture
[2010/10/09 12:52] lizsolo Mathilde: that we can then subvert
[2010/10/09 12:52] Truelie Telling: and age is not an issue, although in rl, I get those ‘little old lady’ looks
[2010/10/09 12:52] Tesserae Swansong: so do we now care less about how Gracie… all the gradations of Gracie… look?
[2010/10/09 12:53] lizsolo Mathilde: is almost impossible to find a little old lady avatar in SL
[2010/10/09 12:53] gazelle Falconer: b8ut the reason I brought it up was to counter the idea of invisibility
[2010/10/09 12:53] FreeWee Ling: I have an alt that’s a grumpy old man that I made to go with a friend’s grandmother figure.
[2010/10/09 12:53] gazelle Falconer: My alt is a grey head
[2010/10/09 12:53] lizsolo Mathilde: cool
[2010/10/09 12:53] gazelle Falconer: a wrinkled greyhead
[2010/10/09 12:53] Ze Moo: My alt is a celebrity ,)
[2010/10/09 12:53] Tesserae Swansong: by invisibility I meant that one seems to have less currency (western culture) as one gets older…
[2010/10/09 12:53] lizsolo Mathilde: and do you find you are treated differently as an older avatar
[2010/10/09 12:54] Tesserae Swansong: more easily discounted
[2010/10/09 12:54] lizsolo Mathilde: I relate to that Tess
[2010/10/09 12:54] gazelle Falconer: very much so
[2010/10/09 12:54] Tesserae Swansong: so in that regard SL is a more egalitarian place, I guess
[2010/10/09 12:54] lizsolo Mathilde: yes, in that way and in many other ways
[2010/10/09 12:54] lizsolo Mathilde: is an equal ground
[2010/10/09 12:54] lizsolo Mathilde: no borders
[2010/10/09 12:54] FreeWee Ling: I found when doing RP in a fantasy sim that as a small faerie I felt very weak and vulnerable. It was not a comfortable feeling.
[2010/10/09 12:55] gazelle Falconer: but only if the avis aren’t true to rl
[2010/10/09 12:55] Tesserae Swansong: mmhmm. so here, do we care which one of these shapes Kris keeps for Gracie to wear all the time?
[2010/10/09 12:55] Tozh Taurog: it depends on what she wants to do.
[2010/10/09 12:55] FreeWee Ling: There’s no need to choose
[2010/10/09 12:55] Tesserae Swansong: I can relate to that FreeWee… makes intuitive sense to me
[2010/10/09 12:56] gazelle Falconer: it depends on her friends
[2010/10/09 12:56] lizsolo Mathilde: Gracie is Gracie, whatever the form
[2010/10/09 12:56] Tesserae Swansong: yep 🙂 now tell that to Kris!
[2010/10/09 12:56] gazelle Falconer: and who they recognize
[2010/10/09 12:56] lizsolo Mathilde: the light shining inside is Gracie
[2010/10/09 12:56] FreeWee Ling: Wear what makes you comfortable or what makes you learn something. Then change. Or not.
[2010/10/09 12:56] gazelle Falconer: arrrrgh
[2010/10/09 12:56] gazelle Falconer: lol
[2010/10/09 12:57] Tozh Taurog: gazelle, we choose our friends.
[2010/10/09 12:57] FreeWee Ling: Even Gracie isn’t Gracie. She’s Kris..
[2010/10/09 12:57] gazelle Falconer: the persona that inhabits the avatar is primary to the avatar?
[2010/10/09 12:57] Ze Moo moving on to next event, GREAT PERFORMACE GRACIE! AWESOME!
[2010/10/09 12:57] lizsolo Mathilde: oh yeah, right, lol
[2010/10/09 12:57] Ze Moo: thanks!
[2010/10/09 12:57] lizsolo Mathilde: Gracie/Kris is Kris/Gracie
[2010/10/09 12:57] lizsolo Mathilde: haha
[2010/10/09 12:57] Truelie Telling: Gracie has changed Kris too
[2010/10/09 12:57] FreeWee Ling: Who says identity is not ambiguous?
[2010/10/09 12:58] FreeWee Ling: Half the time I don’t know who the heck I am.
[2010/10/09 12:58] gazelle Falconer: I am not so sure it is
[2010/10/09 12:58] Tesserae Swansong: for me, it is not. that is the wrong word for it
[2010/10/09 12:59] Tozh Taurog: Perhaps it’s merely vague?
[2010/10/09 12:59] lizsolo Mathilde: fluid
[2010/10/09 12:59] gazelle Falconer: I have wondered if an avi will ‘rub off’ on the person wearing the avi
[2010/10/09 12:59] Tesserae Swansong: though it may change, at no point in time is it ambiguous
[2010/10/09 12:59] Truelie Telling: at this age, I know who I am and it is not who I thought I was
[2010/10/09 12:59] FreeWee Ling: I’m glad you can be so unequivocal Tes.. heehee.
[2010/10/09 12:59] Tesserae Swansong: 🙂
[2010/10/09 12:59] gazelle Falconer: lol
[2010/10/09 13:00] lizsolo Mathilde: interesting True
[2010/10/09 13:00] Tesserae Swansong: well, to call it ambiguous is to be as unequivocal, Free :_)
[2010/10/09 13:00] gazelle Falconer: Trulie
[2010/10/09 13:00] Tesserae Swansong: ambiguous* gotta cut these nails
[2010/10/09 13:00] Gracie Kendal: WOW THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR COMING TO THIS ENCORE PERFORMANCE OF VB15….. WHAT AN AMAZING EXPERIENCE FOR THE PERFORMERS ESPECIALLY…. WE ARE HERE TO TALK NOW AND ANSWER QUESTIONS AND ASK THEM IF YOU WANT TO STAY AND CHAT… THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH :)))
[2010/10/09 13:00] Truelie Telling APPLAUDS!!!
[2010/10/09 13:00] Jorga Joubert: thanks!
[2010/10/09 13:00] FreeWee Ling: Thank you to Gracie/Kris and the VB performers!
[2010/10/09 13:00] Gracie Kendal: :)))
[2010/10/09 13:00] lizsolo Mathilde: Fabulous
[2010/10/09 13:01] Sophie Allegiere takes a bow
[2010/10/09 13:01] Gracie Kendal: what a great conversation you guys have been having :))
[2010/10/09 13:01] Truelie Telling: inspired some great chat!
[2010/10/09 13:01] Ann Ehret claps
[2010/10/09 13:01] Gracie Kendal: absolutely :))
[2010/10/09 13:01] FreeWee Ling: A stimulating experience.
[2010/10/09 13:01] Fury Warwillow: now for god’s sake go put some clothes on! 🙂
[2010/10/09 13:01] Gracie Kendal: THANK YOU SO MUCH TO MY FRIENDS WHO HELPED IN THE PERFORMANCE :))
[2010/10/09 13:01] FreeWee Ling: lol
[2010/10/09 13:01] Gracie Kendal: lolol fURY
[2010/10/09 13:01] Gracie Kendal: WHY???
[2010/10/09 13:01] Truelie Telling: even if half of you are just clouds, and I can’t actually see what you look like
[2010/10/09 13:01] lizsolo Mathilde: yes, great conversation, I really needed that actually:))))
[2010/10/09 13:01] Tina Reverie: hehe
[2010/10/09 13:01] Paige Adagio: thank you for letting us help, Gracie!
[2010/10/09 13:01] Molly Vinciolo: this was fun
[2010/10/09 13:02] Tina Reverie: We Live! We have Voices!
[2010/10/09 13:02] gazelle Falconer: ty for your ty
[2010/10/09 13:02] Paige Adagio: we are not bots!
[2010/10/09 13:02] Truelie Telling APPLAUDS!!!
[2010/10/09 13:02] Molly Vinciolo: except for me
[2010/10/09 13:02] Sophie Allegiere: yeah, shame on the guy who said that
[2010/10/09 13:02] Molly Vinciolo: I *AM* a bot
[2010/10/09 13:02] lizsolo Mathilde: I rez, therefore I am!
[2010/10/09 13:02] lizsolo Mathilde: nice!
[2010/10/09 13:02] Gracie Kendal: sorry for the typos..lag
[2010/10/09 13:02] FreeWee Ling: Cool.
[2010/10/09 13:02] Paige Adagio: we can finally scratch our noses 😀
[2010/10/09 13:03] gazelle Falconer: enough of the discredited Des Cartes
[2010/10/09 13:03] gazelle Falconer: lol
[2010/10/09 13:03] Gracie Kendal: LOL
[2010/10/09 13:03] lizsolo Mathilde: 🙂
[2010/10/09 13:03] Tesserae Swansong: thank you, Gracie. very much 🙂
[2010/10/09 13:03] gazelle Falconer: Sartre put him in his place
[2010/10/09 13:03] Gracie Kendal: Your most welcome :))
[2010/10/09 13:04] Truelie Telling: Gracie, I’ve been enjoying your blog for quite a while, and this really brings you both to life… thank you!
[2010/10/09 13:04] Gracie Kendal: Your very welcome 🙂
[2010/10/09 13:04] Gracie Kendal: awwww thank you so much Truelie :))
[2010/10/09 13:05] Gracie Kendal: It was very surreal for everyone to inhabit my avis..LOL
[2010/10/09 13:05] Gracie Kendal: at the last minute we put out the other set of pose balls… thinking more people may jump in them
[2010/10/09 13:05] Paige Adagio: I kept looking for stuff in inventory, haha
[2010/10/09 13:05] Gracie Kendal: to be part of the exhibit too
[2010/10/09 13:05] Gracie Kendal: haha Paige
[2010/10/09 13:05] Gracie Kendal: not much there huh
[2010/10/09 13:06] Paige Adagio: nothing I recognize!
[2010/10/09 13:06] Gracie Kendal: haha
[2010/10/09 13:06] Gracie Kendal: well we got the idea..cuz someone jumped on a free poseball when we were setting up
[2010/10/09 13:06] Gracie Kendal: happy accidents
[2010/10/09 13:07] Gracie Kendal: I have to put on my glasses so I can see..LOL
[2010/10/09 13:08] Pixeleen Mistral: I liked the two chat streams
[2010/10/09 13:08] Paige Adagio: this was tons of fun
[2010/10/09 13:08] Asimia Heron: it really was
[2010/10/09 13:08] Gracie Kendal: yea it sure was :))
[2010/10/09 13:09] Pixeleen Mistral: Gracie you should do a think piece about performance art for the Alphaville Herald
[2010/10/09 13:09] Gracie Kendal: Ohhh I’d love to Pixeleen
[2010/10/09 13:09] Gracie Kendal: I was actually thinking I need to write an article about this
[2010/10/09 13:10] Pixeleen Mistral: you should
[2010/10/09 13:10] Asimia Heron: you do
[2010/10/09 13:10] Asimia Heron: it was especially interesting when the audience stopped picking at the work and started self-reflection
[2010/10/09 13:10] Gracie Kendal: Yea totally
[2010/10/09 11:11] Paige Adagio: how did you pick the names for all these avatars? randomly? or is there meaning behind them?
[2010/10/09 11:11] Gracie Kendal: no there is meaning… Paige is named after a good friend in SL… who I met for the first time in RL in March..she filmed my transformation…came out from NY
[2010/10/09 11:12] Gracie Kendal: Frida based off of Frida Kahlo
[2010/10/09 11:12] Paige Adagio: oh, yes! I remember reading about that. she did a great job
[2010/10/09 11:12] Gracie Kendal: Elizabeth- Jane Austin who I love
[2010/10/09 11:12] Paige Adagio: that’s really cool 🙂
[2010/10/09 11:12] Gracie Kendal: yea 🙂
[2010/10/09 11:13] Gracie Kendal: A few names I had before… names I liked
[2010/10/09 11:15] Gracie Kendal: I guess I should get dressed…or undressed too
[2010/10/09 11:15] yamarontoast Dagger: Kris u r Gracie right?
[2010/10/09 11:15] Gracie Kendal: no
[2010/10/09 11:15] Paige Adagio: take it off!
[2010/10/09 11:15] Gracie Kendal: well kinda
[2010/10/09 11:15] Gracie Kendal: haha
[2010/10/09 11:15] Kris Schomaker smiles.
[2010/10/09 11:15] Gracie Kendal: only Gracie is the real me today
[2010/10/09 11:15] Gracie Kendal: crazy isn’t it
[2010/10/09 11:16] yamarontoast Dagger: my head hurts
[2010/10/09 11:16] Paige Adagio: very surreal
[2010/10/09 11:16] Gracie Kendal: yea.. that’s what’s cool about it too
[2010/10/09 11:28] Paula Galewind: Gracie you’re my polar opposite huh?
[2010/10/09 11:28] Paula Galewind: scary
[2010/10/09 11:28] Gracie Kendal: haha yea kinda Paula
[2010/10/09 11:33] Kristine Garnet: I’m YOU! Or I mean, you’re ME! or I mean we’re GRACIE! :D:D:D
[2010/10/09 11:36] Paula Galewind: We’re the stepford children of Gracie’s
[2010/10/09 11:36] Sophie Allegiere: all of us?
[2010/10/09 11:39] Sophie Allegiere: oh my god, I’ve found my tribe
[2010/10/09 11:39] Paula Galewind: StepFORD StepFORD
[2010/10/09 11:40] IM: Paula Galewind: Gracie = Sybil
[2010/10/09 11:58] IM: Paula Galewind: I’m Sybil
[2010/10/09 11:58] IM: Paula Galewind: welcome to my ego
[2010/10/09 11:59] IM: Paula Galewind: Ego/id/ego/id? that is the question
[2010/10/09 11:59] IM: Frida Latzo: it’s like that being John Malkovich movie
[2010/10/09 12:01] IM: Paula Galewind: OMG that reminds me … my alt had a BF that after we broke up he would log on as him and his female alt and dance with him self
[2010/10/09 12:02] IM: Ann Ehret: some guy just called us bots!
[2010/10/09 12:02] IM: Sophie Allegiere: I really want to IM him and say we’re not bots asshole
[2010/10/09 12:03] IM: Paula Galewind: we are not girls we are DEVO
[2010/10/09 12:03] IM: Sophie Allegiere snorts
[2010/10/09 12:04] IM: Paige Adagio misses her Devo hat
[2010/10/09 12:08] IM: Molly Vinciolo: we are role playing bots
[2010/10/09 12:07] IM: Frida Latzo: now we know how the Mona Lisa feels
[2010/10/09 12:07] IM: Paige Adagio: yeah, this is sort of creepy
[2010/10/09 12:07] IM: Sophie Allegiere feels like doing the pageant wave
[2010/10/09 12:14] Paula Galewind: so not the typical “ideal” but diff. concept of ideal
[2010/10/09 12:15] Tina Reverie: convos heating up in local
[2010/10/09 12:15] Sophie Allegiere: ha, love that they’ve noticed the shoes, lol
[2010/10/09 12:15] Sophie Allegiere is a shoe queen in RL
[2010/10/09 12:16] Frida Latzo: imagine when we are all like 75 and our AVs will be like 23 lol
[2010/10/09 12:17] Gracie Kendal: hahaah
[2010/10/09 12:17] Sophie Allegiere: I actually know a few 75 year olds in SL
[2010/10/09 12:17] Gracie Kendal: yea me too
[2010/10/09 12:17] Paula Galewind: ditto
[2010/10/09 12:17] Frida Latzo: do they have young av?
[2010/10/09 12:17] Sophie Allegiere: yes, they do
[2010/10/09 12:17] Sophie Allegiere: one pair of them is a couple, actually
[2010/10/09 12:18] Sophie Allegiere: they were both weirder out about their ages
[2010/10/09 12:18] Paula Galewind: he had a young one and then he made it older and now it’s older but not 75
[2010/10/09 12:18] Sophie Allegiere: until he confessed his
[2010/10/09 12:18] Sophie Allegiere: and that made her comfortable enough to confess hers
[2010/10/09 12:18] Paula Galewind: he’s about 50ish looking in his avi
[2010/10/09 12:18] Sophie Allegiere: he’s 78 and she’s 75
[2010/10/09 12:18] Gracie Kendal: wow
[2010/10/09 12:18] Sophie Allegiere: and they found each other, how random is that? 🙂
[2010/10/09 12:18] Paula Galewind: good for them … were then master and slave (giggles)
[2010/10/09 12:19] Sophie Allegiere: no, they were just bf/gf
[2010/10/09 12:19] Sophie Allegiere: lol
[2010/10/09 12:19] Sophie Allegiere: the only collar involved was on the dog
[2010/10/09 12:19] Paula Galewind: LOL
[2010/10/09 12:20] Sophie Allegiere: see, this is why I never stand next to my work at a show, lol
[2010/10/09 12:20] Sophie Allegiere: I can’t handle the evaluation
[2010/10/09 12:20] Sophie Allegiere: lol
[2010/10/09 12:20] Gracie Kendal: hahaha
[2010/10/09 12:20] Paula Galewind: Good girl Tesserae: Tesserae Swansong: but why do we care? why does she care… about the perception of image, I mean? is it to be loved? to hold power? or ?
[2010/10/09 12:21] Paula Galewind: ((BRB talk about me while I’m gone) ))
[2010/10/09 12:21] Sophie Allegiere: OK!
[2010/10/09 12:21] Gracie Kendal: haha ok Paula
[2010/10/09 12:22] Sophie Allegiere: great opportunity, lol
[2010/10/09 12:23] Gracie Kendal: now really… who is Paula???
[2010/10/09 12:24] Elizabeth Lacourte: WHEW THAT BITCH PAULA IS GONE
[2010/10/09 12:27] Sophie Allegiere: we’re going to have to trade actual SL identities after this, I like you all, and you’re my kind of people
[2010/10/09 12:27] Ann Ehret: lol
[2010/10/09 12:27] Sophie Allegiere ponders “real SL identities” hmmmmm
[2010/10/09 12:27] Sophie Allegiere: roflmao
[2010/10/09 12:31] Tina Reverie: good local chat going
[2010/10/09 12:32] Sophie Allegiere: yeah, I was just noticing that
[2010/10/09 12:32] Sophie Allegiere: people are getting self-reflective now
[2010/10/09 12:32] Sophie Allegiere: instead of picking apart the work
[2010/10/09 12:32] Sophie Allegiere: that’s good
[2010/10/09 12:37] Gracie Kendal: can you guys cut and paste from where I crashed and came back?
[2010/10/09 12:37] Tina Reverie: not much local when you were off… here it is:
[2010/10/09 12:37] Tina Reverie: [12:33] FreeWee Ling: looks like we lost a Gracie..
[12:33] RAG Randt: crash!
[12:33] Fury Warwillow: THE Gracie
[12:33] FreeWee Ling: But is it the most important Gracie? Is there another?
[12:33] gazelle Falconer: lol
[2010/10/09 12:38] Gracie Kendal: maybe crashing was on purpose 😛
[2010/10/09 12:39] Gracie Kendal: and maybe cut and paste this group IM too…would be interesting to see the give and take
[2010/10/09 12:40] Sophie Allegiere: I wonder how it would make them feel?
[2010/10/09 12:40] Sophie Allegiere: *feel
[2010/10/09 12:41] Paula Galewind: (( on phone))
[2010/10/09 12:41] Sophie Allegiere: quick everybody talk about Paula again
[2010/10/09 12:41] Gracie Kendal: I absolutely LOVE performance art…especially when the audience is part of the performance in this case
[2010/10/09 12:41] Gracie Kendal: OMG Paula..you know what she did>?????
[2010/10/09 12:42] Sophie Allegiere: bwa ha ha ha …
[2010/10/09 12:42] Sophie Allegiere: no, make something up
[2010/10/09 12:42] Gracie Kendal: (Paula is my mom btw… I mean my RL mom’s name..haha Not my mom in SL or RL..LOLOL)
[2010/10/09 12:42] Sophie Allegiere: lol
[2010/10/09 12:46] Tina Reverie: I’m going on a diet
[2010/10/09 12:46] Gracie Kendal: haha
[2010/10/09 12:47] Tina Reverie: no more fat pixels
[2010/10/09 12:47] Sophie Allegiere: it’s all that virtual sugar we consume in here, lol
[2010/10/09 12:50] Paula Galewind: Gracie, how old are you (curious)
[2010/10/09 12:50] Gracie Kendal: 37
[2010/10/09 12:50] Paula Galewind: cool thanks
[2010/10/09 12:50] Paula Galewind: 🙂
[2010/10/09 12:50] Gracie Kendal: yvw 🙂
[2010/10/09 12:50] Gracie Kendal: and single if you guys have any brothers 😛
[2010/10/09 12:50] Gracie Kendal: hehe
[2010/10/09 12:50] Sophie Allegiere: wait, you told me I had dibs on the brothers for volunteering
[2010/10/09 12:50] Sophie Allegiere scowls
[2010/10/09 12:50] Gracie Kendal: I was being ambiguous 😛
[2010/10/09 12:51] Ann Ehret: I’m single too if any of you have lonely fathers
[2010/10/09 12:51] Gracie Kendal: lmao
[2010/10/09 12:51] Gracie Kendal: yea but you are all me…so I win all around:P
[2010/10/09 12:51] Paula Galewind: My daddy loves me best
[2010/10/09 12:51] Gracie Kendal: nuh uh
[2010/10/09 12:55] Molly Vinciolo: I’m as real as Second Life
[2010/10/09 12:55] Ann Ehret: “real sl self”…wow
[2010/10/09 12:55] Sophie Allegiere is really going to have to do something around “real SL selves”
V A N E E E S A B L A Y L O C K / C O M P A N Y
A FEW VERY SPECIAL FRIENDS
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
ARTIST GRACIE KENDAL, THE VANEEESA BLAYLOCK COMPANY AND A FEW SPECIAL FRIENDS WILL HELP EXPLORE A WOMAN’S RELATIONSHIP WITH HER AVATAR
Caerleon Isle (129, 39, 26) – September 23 – In Gracie Kendal & VB/COVB15: will offer 16 avatars, 16 variations of identity, 16 life possibilities, for the audience to consider in this performance where the body is presented directly before the audience, unmediated by the brush of the painter or the lens of the photographer.
Gracie Kendal, also known as Kristine Schomaker in real life, just completed her Thesis for the Masters Degree in Art with the execution of her “The Gracie Kendal Project-A Conversation with my Avatar” where she utilizes installation, text, photography, mixed media, video and performance to explore her real life through the lens of her second life avatar.
“I am projecting myself onto another form and confronting my own imperfections,” Kendal says. “My work deals with the process of becoming self-aware while living in a media-saturated, technologically advancing society.”
“The human body has been represented in painting and sculpture for 500 years, but always mediated by the artist’s hand,” Company Director Vaneeesa Blaylock said. “In a world where avatars are emerging as new citizens, we will present the avatar as a work of sculpture directly to the audience. We state ‘I Rez, Therefore I Am.'”
For more information about the Gracie Kendal Project contact Gracie Kendal or Kris Schomaker or visit https://graciekendal.wordpress.com. To learn more about the “VB15 – Gracie / Kris” installation or the Eostara Art Gallery, contact Vaneeesa Blaylock or visit http://vaneeesa.blogspot.com.
In the past year Vaneeesa Blaylock / Company has produced numerous performance artworks in Second Life, including 14 large-scale productions, 3 duets, and 11 solo works. Ms. Blaylock holds an MFA in New Media from the Koninklijk Conservatorium and a degree in Choreography from the Hong Kong Academy for Performing Arts.
Kris Schomaker (aka Gracie Kendal) lives in Southern California and will graduate in May 2010 with her MA in Art from California State University, Northridge. She has been an artist for over 12 years experimenting in various interdisciplinary art forms, and is currently exploring her own identity through new media and performance art.
VB15 – GRACIE / KRIS_
by Vaneeesa Blaylock / Company
is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Netherlands License.
Based on a work at http://vaneeesa.blogspot.com
Special Thanks to Metanomics
Thank you so much for helping to make Gracie and Kris who they are today :))
Tracey Sassoon- Gracie’s shape
Coke Dreadlow- PornStar Hi-Tops
Dean Ashby/Emilia Redgrave- All performers Skins
Truth Hawks- Linda Hair
Antonia Marat- Rhinestone retro Glasses
Six Kennedy- Question Hair
Jordan Morgenrote- Nose Piercings/Bracelets
Alexx Usbourne/Digit Darkes- Liquid Latex Halter/Half Tulle Skirt
Cocoro Lemon- V-neckTee(black) T-shirts
Gwen Carillon- EM- La Boheme- Solarin Necklace
Szentasha Salome- Sze boots- zipper black
Miko Omegamu- *Icing* Grace Black Dress
Rita Groshomme- Gertrude Hair
Onyx Leshelle- Maitreya Gold- Shanti Black high heeled shoes
Parvati Monday- Deena Happy Blond hair
Forseti Svarog- Painter pants
NIghtowl Meridoc- Custom Shapes
Vaneeesa Blaylock- VB Performance Company
Looking for volunteers for this Saturday October 9th noon to 1pm slt… to help in an encore presentation of VB15 Gracie/Kris
I need help piloting 15 of my alt avatars for this presentation.
I would love your help. I have a few people listed but need 8 more.
It’s pretty easy, all you have to do is log in on one of my alt avatars, and stand on a pose ball for an hour. I am trying to decide if I want any conversation going… but you won’t really have to worry about that.
There is a mock up of the performance at Caerleon Museum of Identity, and also the video on youtube… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ljaAOZIkcU
Let me know as soon as you can and I will give you more info.
Thank you all so much for your continued support 🙂
Sharing a thought… in my art talk yesterday, I briefly mentioned the Edu/non profit issue… how scary it is… and what will happen to SL… I brought up the idea of losing Gracie.
Is that a possibility? What would happen?
Someone said, I(we) would mourn her(other avis) and move on?
So if this is the case, a possibility of losing Gracie, what does that mean? Is this, like a disease, watching the end in sight? and while I should mourn, I should continue to live on and live every day to its fullest?
Of course we all die someday, somehow… but do you ever think of your Avatar dieing?
Recently people have mentioned moving our avatars to other grids… Will Gracie be the same? While she is me, of course, she is her own avatar. Her clothes, her skin, her hair, her shape, define her as much as her personality.
I am thinking about/working on the bigger issues her… again our online identities, our perception of who we are both online and in RL, how we project ourselves onto our avatars and in turn how they are projected back onto us…
So many ideas to think about.
Right now though, it’s raining outside… and I can hear and feel it 🙂