‘The Truth about Gracie and Kris’

Maybe it’s not about change. Maybe it’s about acceptance? But accepting who I am, means I need to know who I am too.

 

The Truth about Gracie and Kris

Have you seen the movies “The Truth about Cats and Dogs” and “Roxanne?” Or read the famous story of Cyrano de Bergerac. In each of these stories there was a main character who was self conscious about his/her physical appearance and a secondary character who was used as a ‘puppet’ (avatar?) because of their ideal looks. It occurred to me that these relationships bare a huge similarity to the relationship that I have with Gracie. In the two contemporary movies, in the end, the main character ultimately gets their love despite what they look like. They accept who they are and realize they are worthy, desirable, beautiful. (The media got something right for once!!)

I totally understand this and believe it is real and possible but I can’t just turn on a switch and wake up one day and be enlightened. I wish it worked that way. That is why I am in counseling and go to an eating disorder support group. That being said…

Gracie is smoking again. Yes, it’s true. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t smoke in RL. Never have, never will. Smoking in SL, has become a symbol for me. A symbol of everything I am going through in RL. Maybe smoking is filling a void? or comfort? It is actually almost relaxing to me when Gracie smokes. It is funny though. On Jan 1st, I threw out all of Gracie’s cigarettes in her inventory. I was looking for Gracie’s next fix and found one last cigarette hidden in our ‘outfit.’  (BTW… Smoking in SL, isn’t bad for you!!!)

Now to get down to business. You may be wondering how I am doing with my rules I set out to work on the beginning of the year. I have actually been avoiding posting anything here, because I didn’t know what to say. The truth is, I haven’t been following the rules. This last week or so have been so overwhelming. I had so much on my mind, I couldn’t get it all straight, much less follow damn rules I set out to do…LOL I am still going to continue on with my transformation, I’m just revisiting why I’m doing it, what I am going to do and how.

At the same time, I read Tricia Aferdita’s blog post “Resolve to be Happy.” She starts of by saying, “I have learned over the past few years that the more I am pressured by outside forces to do something, the less likely I am to do it.” This totally caught my attention. I am totally this way. She goes on to say, “So. This is what I say to all of you. Don’t resolve to exercise more, eat well, go to the gym, cut out caffeine, etc… Get to the core of what causes you NOT to do those things. What makes you happy? What is making you unhappy? Is it a work situation? A relationship? Let go of what puts you in this place. Step outside of your comfort zone. Isn’t it funny that we hang on to stressful, painful spaces in our lives because we are afraid of change? We’re afraid to move on and see what’s out there when it may be that very thing that makes you happy. Feel the fear and do it anyway.” No Fear Tricia, No Fear!!!

I resolve to be happy!!!!

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3 thoughts on “‘The Truth about Gracie and Kris’

  1. Acceptance is a one day at a time project. I refused to make resolutions this year, in my journey to a more actualized being I choose instead to have dreams and to find ways to fulfill my dreams. This seems to be a more palatable approach to that inner growth journey, instead of abusing myself with restrictions or rules I get to freely choose, what will make me happy and how can I accomplish my dreams. Chasing the illusive happiness is like trying to hold a butterfly, as soon as you touch it you render it flightless. I love my dreams, I love when my dreams come true and it makes me feel good, when I feel good I want to do more… it’s part of the acceptance of being disabled….. for me at least…. focus on what I can do…. not what I can’t. I just want to fly in what ever way my wings will allow instead of trying on wings that others say are supposed to work. It’s my life one commitment i have made to myself for the past six years since my mother died is this : I will find enjoyment in my life for a few brief minutes everyday, I have a right to. It’s my life. That enjoyment often means being contented with me, writing a poem, creating art or helping another person.
    Chris check out 360 kinect and Dance Central, lifts your mood and makes your butt jiggle! I am loving it!

  2. Follow your heart, dance often, dream ponder create and your wings will find you.

    I was in a slump a number of years ago, and one day just wrote the words Find My Wings. A year or so later after knowing what I needed to do for change, came Feel My Wings. Hard changes later, I wrote Follow my Wings and finally, now it’s Spread my Wings. Transformation of any kind requires change and I have a saying that came to me one day to remind myself to be brave…

    Change is opportunity in disguise for those who dare to remove the mask.

    Love the pic of us, hugs across the wires 🙂
    Buffy Beale

  3. Thank you so much for the link back and kind words about my blog! Go for it!!! ~Tricia

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