How much do you weigh?

How much do you weigh? Why is this such a harsh question? Why do people get so defensive when being asked? I know the general reasons of course, but I am looking deeper. Why is this number so important? And why is it so hard to share it freely? My good friend Qwis just shared a blog post about our weight;  “How much do you weigh?” She thought I would really understand  and ‘get’ it. And I do.

Enough already. There’s far too much energy expended on diets and appearance, energy we could use to enjoy our lives.

I totally agree!!!!

The post goes on to ask., Why is real weight such a taboo? This brings back the same old question, why do looks matter so much over intellect and personality?

This has happened to me a couple times now. I was at a party recently. I was talking to a nice guy having a great conversation. My friend, a cute, thin woman came back from the restroom and joined in the conversation. All of a sudden I didn’t exist. The guy, barely looked at me. Even though I was working it with intelligent conversation and my witty personality (hehe), I hardly had a glance from him.  I notice this a lot. When I am in a group of younger, more attractive women, I am the last one that guys look at. It doesn’t matter how confident and ‘pretty’ I am feeling.

While I am still struggling with the balance between becoming self confident and being comfortable in my own skin versus the ideal of beauty that is so socially distorted in society, I am standing up for the women out there who are still afraid to show their true selves and who also struggle every day with dieting, weighing in, calorie counting, excessive exercise and plastic surgery.

Change happens…

Today has been a really great day!!

This morning, I got in my car and listened to my new CD, Adele’s “21.” I was entranced. I felt like I did when I was younger and playing Cranberries “Dreams” and 4 non-blondes “What’s up” on road trips. It was nostalgic. There was a feeling of exhilaration. Like anything was possible. I ran my errands almost fearless. The freeway was my playground. (Well kinda..within traffic laws anyway…LOL)

Today is one of the first days I have actually felt like I knew who I was. Today, I feel alive, awake to new possibilities. I don’t know what happened, what sparked this feeling. I don’t know if I will feel this  way tomorrow. It doesn’t really matter. Today is today and I feel great.

Today is the first time, I have wanted to change Gracie in about 3ish years. Change happens when you least expect it. Sometimes for good sometimes for bad. But how you deal with it is up to you. I don’t know if Gracie’s change will last, what will come of it or how I will feel tomorrow.

All I know is today I love it. After a little make-over Gracie  is a new gal. Almost.

And yes, to all inquiring minds… the cigarette is gone!!!

Wednesday December 7, 2011 Gracie Kendal and Kristine Schomaker