Day 109 of Project 365: Being brave vs food allergies

So I have never had food allergies. Actually I still don’t.

A few years ago I thought  I did. For a few months my legs were itching like crazy. No rash, just itching. I went to the Doctor, dermatologist and finally an allergist. They did the skin test which showed I was positive for corn, soy and a few other foods. All foods I have eaten my entire life. They told me to cut those foods out and bring them in gradually to see if I have a reaction. Well I cut them out. One day I was sitting at Starbucks drinking an iced tea and eating a chocolate chip cookie and something happened. My body started to get warm and  my tongue started tingling, It was very sudden and very scary. I knew something was wrong. I had someone call 911 for me. The ambulance came they took my vital signs and said, no it’s NOT an allergic reaction, its an anxiety attack. You would have had hives if it was an allergic reaction. Your vital signs are all normal. I was like WHAT??? I had never had anxiety. So I  went home rather than go to the hospital. (The warm feeling and tingling were adrenaline from the anxiety)

It scared me though. Because it happened around food and because of all the allergy testing I still thought it was an allergic reaction. I did tons of online research. First mistake..LOL I scared myself even more. I cut out EVERYTHING having to do with the foods I thought I was allergic too. Even changed my shampoo and conditioner because I had read (online) that corn and soy are used. I lost about 40 pounds over a few months because I was eating non processed foods (foods without corn or soy fillers) and I was actually healthy. Well physically anyway. I knew my mind was kind of messed up. I became afraid to try different foods. I was deathly afraid of corn and soy especially. Through therapy I learned to realize that it was the anxiety that was causing this. I have only had 2 panic attacks within a week of each other but because I had a physical reaction surrounding food I correlated them with allergies.

Today, a few years later, after lots of therapy, I  realized I have an eating disorder, which I am working on overcoming. I am now eating most foods I used to eat, except corn. I am still afraid.

The other day at work, one of my friends, a nurse was talking about her love of shrimp. She said she is allergic to it. Even breaking out in hives the other night after eating shrimp. She loves shrimp and will “suffer through the hives” because she doesn’t want to give  it up. I want that attitude. I want to be that  brave.

I also realized, I have never actually had an allergic reaction to food. Ever. Well except sometimes when I eat walnuts and cucumbers my throat will itch a  bit. But I have never had hives or a rash from food. (btw the itching a few years ago was probably just from dry skin)

I have had a bit of anxiety off and on. I have felt that rush of adrenaline through my body because of  anxiety (a potential panic attack) and I have fought it off. I say to myself, “You shall not pass.” No I don’t really say that, but I should..LOL I do positive self talk saying, its only adrenaline, I will be okay, this is not going  to happen. It goes away within seconds. I figure  this comes up because of my eating habits. Eating sporadically throughout the day, sometimes not having breakfast at all. Plus all the caffeine from the chocolate I eat doesn’t help.

I want to eat foods and not be afraid. I want to BE BRAVE and not care.

Do you have food allergy stories? Or similar stories?

Btw, this is my ‘cupboard.’ Don’t laugh. That is IT!  LOL I don’t cook much at home. I am a very bad eater. I eat out 80% of the time. I am not a good at eating at home.

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